We hire, partner, and befriend on incomplete data. The temptation is to protect ourselves with suspicion. The better alternative is to protect ourselves with design. Give people chances to be good to you in small, visible ways.
flowchart LR
G[Generous Read] */} T[Tiny Test]
T */} N[Note]
N */} R[Repeat]
The smallest tests tell you most: do they confirm a meeting, send a summary, correct a number they misremembered. If yes, you have a pattern worth investing in. If not, you part without a wound because the stakes were small by design.
To prevent self‑deception, write short public notes. People who want to be seen as reliable love this; grifters don’t. Keep access and trust separate; you can include people before you hand them the keys. The system does the suspicion work so that you can keep your eyes kind.
It is possible to be warm, quick to credit, and slow to take offense without becoming a mark. The secret is that generosity is a budget line, not a mood. You allocate it to places where the receipts accumulate.